And only when you think you’ve become disconnected with your older self, you somehow inadvertently get back to the way you were. If not completely, at least the faint trace of the person you were. The insinuation, the allusion that starts showing all around you. Walking through the beach just how you get sand in your shoes and it stays there. Not completely, but the slight tickle on your foot, jabbing at you with full force. Small grains of sand but emphasizing their presence with every step you put forward. Just like your past. Haunting you to bits at one time then jabbing you at the back of your mind. It stays there. The way you were. The way you felt. The way everything was.
With reference to me being disconnected with my past self. The younger me.
The day starts with completely mad shorts. Seeing Gauri at R.A.Podar. Then having lunch at the clinic just like the junior college days 2 years ago. Waiting at the bus stop for 213 so we could travel together. Walking on the abandoned tracks in rains with the planes flying over head. The harbor line travel. The stench of the local. The whiff of air on the footboard of the train. Returning back to something I left behind incomplete 2 years ago. The snip on the hair that looked like the 2 year ago me. And well.. the lip gloss on the pout.
I guess some things never fail to remind you that no matter how far you go, no matter how long it has been you always feel the same way in certain situations. The way you react and reciprocate is the same the way you did before. It makes you realize that no matter how much you change, inherently you just remain the way you were. Something somewhere will always play the right chord from your past and make music. And that is the jab. The thrust that is always in the back of your mind which makes its presence felt. The sand always sticking to my foot after the long walk over the beach of my life. And well what do I say? I still got sand in my shoes..
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