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Thursday, October 25, 2007

all alone

Standing alone, passers by watched me, as they thought I had gone mad. My mind coupled their thinking. I indeed HAD gone mad. There I was,,, alone, stranded on an empty bus stop, in spite of a bus strike for 1 hour 17 minutes. Waiting there, still doing nothing. Feeling so numb.
I felt tranquility amidst the honking of horns and roaring of engines. Engrossed in a reverie of thoughts – Did I ever mean anything to anyone? Was anyone bothered about me? Who am I? Just another urban girl lost in the metro? In 17 years of my life , What have I achieved? In THIS same life, I have never ever felt so alone as I do now. But, I haven’t even felt so peaceful and tranquil inside.
I felt lively loneliness as I thought over the various phases of my short life. A journey made pleasurable and joyous in a protective cocoon formed by my loved ones. But it was today that I realized that life would get only more complicated with time as the cocoon would fade out. I stood at a crucial junction of my life, where it was either make or break. I had never imagined it could be so grave. The feeling of responsibility, the urge to make something memorable out of my life, to do my parents proud and rise in my own eyes-facing the whole world confidently.
I would have to do it all alone. No one would or rather could help me. It was all about ME. ME, MYSELF AND I. No one to just hold my hand and say it would be ok…you’ll get through it!! No one to protect me!! Just I left to myself.
You are born alone , you die alone. The journey between birth and death would have to be continued alone and made pleasurable along with your beloved ones, but superficially.
1 hour 17 minutes made me realize this- No matter what, I had to be strong, taking upsets in my stride, I had to rise n fall…ALL ALONE.