Still got Sand in My Shoes...

And only when you think you’ve become disconnected with your older self, you somehow inadvertently get back to the way you were. If not completely, at least the faint trace of the person you were. The insinuation, the allusion that starts showing all around you. Walking through the beach just how you get sand in your shoes and it stays there. Not completely, but the slight tickle on your foot, jabbing at you with full force. Small grains of sand but emphasizing their presence with every step you put forward. Just like your past. Haunting you to bits at one time then jabbing you at the back of your mind. It stays there. The way you were. The way you felt. The way everything was.

With reference to me being disconnected with my past self. The younger me.

The day starts with completely mad shorts. Seeing Gauri at R.A.Podar. Then having lunch at the clinic just like the junior college days 2 years ago. Waiting at the bus stop for 213 so we could travel together. Walking on the abandoned tracks in rains with the planes flying over head. The harbor line travel. The stench of the local. The whiff of air on the footboard of the train. Returning back to something I left behind incomplete 2 years ago. The snip on the hair that looked like the 2 year ago me. And well.. the lip gloss on the pout.

I guess some things never fail to remind you that no matter how far you go, no matter how long it has been you always feel the same way in certain situations. The way you react and reciprocate is the same the way you did before. It makes you realize that no matter how much you change, inherently you just remain the way you were. Something somewhere will always play the right chord from your past and make music. And that is the jab. The thrust that is always in the back of your mind which makes its presence felt. The sand always sticking to my foot after the long walk over the beach of my life. And well what do I say? I still got sand in my shoes..

If Only..

If Only

happiness was on sale, I'd buy it.

50 kgs was a place, I'd navigate my way till there.

love was an easy thing, I wouldn't fall in it.

sex wasn't a taboo, people wouldn't enjoy it.

anything was indispensable, it was oxygen.

other people's opinion mattered, I wouldn't need my own.

nights were longer, I'd be pretty. (Id get my beauty sleep)

people cared, they'd keep in touch.

there weren't the nights, I wouldn't have appreciated the light.

anyone could predict the future, I wouldn't have to live in the present.

life was a math problem, I'd solve it.

I hadn't had an ex, I wouldn't have had a next.

I was indifferent, I wouldn't be in love.

I knew how to paint, I'd be an artist.

craziness wouldn't dwell in me, I wouldn't be random.

I wasn't bored, I wouldn't post this.

Him and Her

Him:(on Phone): Hey
Her:(on Phone): Hi, Whats up?


Her:(Scrap on Orkut): *ding dong* *ping pong* *sing a song*
Him: (Scrap on Orkut): gaata rahe mera dil
Her:(on Phone): I'll shoot myself if you sing on phone
Him:(on Phone): I cant sing to you otherwise, because of the distance.
*in a sing song manner* Billy Jean of My Love

Him:(on phone): My friends moving to Sikkim.
Her:(on Phone): Good, Sikkim is a nice place, probably you can go meet him at Sikkim.
Him:(through Yahoo Messenger) : Who the hell wants to go to Sikkim? Why the hell?
Her:(Scrap on Orkut): Peep Sheet!

Him:(through Yahoo Messenger): I love you!
Her:(on Phone): Me too!

Him:(on Phone): We're talking through 3 different mediums, we're so cool!
Her:(through Yahoo Messenger): :D I know.

Date: 21st July 2009
Time: 02.14 hours
<3 <3 <3




01.46 hours

(On Phone)
Him: Hey, I'll call you in a while.
Her: Okay.
|phone rings, Him calls back|
Him: I'm Back! Oh no, wait! Honey! I'm home!
*follows it with a MJ squeek*


04.25 hours

(On phone)
Him: Are you awake?
Her: I answered the call, MEANS I AM awake.I seem sleepy.
Him: Okay. Do you have to get to work tomorrow?
Her: Yes.
Him: Ur dazed and confused. And your dazing me out.
Her: Let me sleep.
Him: I should call tomorrow?
Her: EVIDENTLY!
*click*

|beep for a text|
Him to Her: If your awake come online.


Her: I love you.
Him: What a freaking co-incidence! I love you too!

Him: I love you.
Her: I love you too.
Him: But I love you too much.

Him: Ur so naive. Ignorant.
Her: have you heard? Ignorance is bliss?
Him: have you heard? Sex is Good?


Her: My friend asked me, am I seeing anyone.
Him: Tell him NO!
Her: Why not? I am seeing you.
Him: No. your just talking someone.
(Since Him and Her are in a 'Long Distance' relationship)


Since Its been a long time both are in love and no more in the 'Long Distance Thing'

Him: You ruined my life.
Her: I know. Loved you so much that you are in a state of shock.

Him: I love you woman.
Her: I know. Now go sleep.

Her: You know what that thing, that does that thing to you is?
Him: Yes. Lets do that thing.

Her: He got me presents.
Her Friend: Hes cheating on you.

Her: You're so filthy. Get your hands off me.
Him: Yeah. Im a dirty lil thing.

Her: I tried to punch my hair today.
Him: I'm going to punch myself for dating you.

Him: I wanna have babies with you.
Her: I know, ill add market value to them.

Her: Lets get married.
Him: What? Hang myself?

Him:I think its time.
Her: Sigh! I think so too.

Revival

Its almost close to being 2 years to my last post. yes.
Since i havent really had the urge nor the need to blog again.

But then its about time I start again.
My facebook Status Message read- I miss ME. Do you?
So the entire point to revive or start regularly blogging is a blend of me missing the way I was 2 years ago and some wild inspiration from Ms. Guneet Caur Ahuja and of course a stint with jaundice that caused me boredom to death.

So now its back to me missing myself. How often does one look back and realize that they have changed so much that they can barely recognize the way they were. Yes, I know, Change is the only Constant in Life. But then change of such vastness?

I could no longer reconnect to my old self. Mad clothes.Lip-Gloss. Random outings. Crazy People to hang out with (I still have them, though they've changed into saner beings now). Messing Around. And most importantly walking around with a I-do-not-care-a-damn attitude, (which i still do, but sometimes it just vanishes).

This is what. Retrospect and hence the Revival.

However, Something that happens just makes you connect with that old self again. The very thing that made you miss it so much.

And now when you feel that way again, you slowly go back to the old self. The self you were.
May be I could do with a regular dab of Lip-Gloss again.